February 18, 2008

Loggerheads

There are really exquisite conflicts, exquisite. Everyone tells us that we must persist, that persistence is the ultimate key to victory.

But we’re also taught that we must adapt, that things change and so must we, that our ability to see that is essential.

So we are pursuing our goal and things haven’t worked. All right, we persist; we learn more, we try something different; we persist and persist. And we still do not move forward. Is the horse dead? Are we beating a dead horse?

I call this being at loggerheads – not a conflict with another that often leads to war, but a conflict with ourselves that leads to frustration and anguish.

My recommendation is to be merciful…with yourself. No one else will say this. There is no one marking you. It is okay to stop pursuing a goal. There is a cost – the investment you’ve made in the goal – the time, the money, the conversations you’ve had with other people. Those are the toughest – the commitments you’ve made to others.

You have to clean those up; they can’t follow you. But once you’ve cleaned it up with others, you can start fresh. People have new careers, new husbands or wives, new interests. What makes them new is that there was an old.

I will have this wrong, but I’ll try it anyway – someone will correct me. In Yiddish there is a phrase I’ve heard from childhood: fahgin yourself. It’s more than forgive yourself; it’s forgive yourself and cut yourself some slack, give yourself a break. We are our own harshest taskmasters.

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Useful Quotes

If you know what to do to reach your goal, it's not a big enough goal.
Bob Proctor

 If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Maya Angelou

Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

How monotonous the sounds of the forest would be if the music came only from the Top Ten birds.
Dan Bennett

It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own.
Jessamyn West

The rule is: we cannot really forgive ourselves unless we look at the failure in our past and call it by its right name.
Lewis Smedes 

Creative Corner

Michael Lipp

Am I Allowed?

I’ve run my head
Into that brick wall
and my head hurts.
I’ve done it ninety times

I’ve asked forgiveness
and apologized
I asked again

I begged forgiveness
I asked what I could do
Her phone is dead to me;
I cannot talk or stalk

I tried going around
I tried over and
I tried under and
I don’t know what to do

Can I give up
Will my heart heal
Will my mind
Blessedly
Forget
Am I allowed
To forgive myself
For not being forgiven

 I have five blogs:

Creating Today - A daily journal on creativity
Contributing Coaching - Creating New Futures
Blogging for the Reading - Making a Difference in how we Create
Michael's Articles - articles that don't fit anywhere else.
Michaels Poetry - Words From My Fingers

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